The Clavier Logo

I have been thinking long and hard about some sort of tasteful slogan that might sum up the Well-Tempered Clavier novel.

Something that manages to get across the fact that this is a heart-breaking love story, while also conveying my immense pride at having been to Eton in the first place.

I discussed the matter with Giles Pilbrow, who is my top gag-meister. He used to do Spitting Image and 2DTV.

He spent days mulling it over. But nothing was really quite right. And then, after a full week, he came up with the sublime line, "Eton 'n' Drinkin'".

"Not at all bad," I said. "But I still want more."

Back he went to the drawing-board. And finally, finally, this weekend he dreamt up a simple line that, for me, captures the very essence of an Eton education ... I've Been Eton.

I may even have it knocked up on a few T-shirts.